I am a Donk

Plain and simple, the last two days have been a complete clusterfuck.

I am down $299 with only a $26 token to show for it. I have played bad, then tried to play bigger to make up. I play good but get sucked out on, and that ends up with the same result as if I played bad, except for more money. I play in the $17,500 Guarantee this afternoon and actually cash, but it was completely disappointing. I was Top 5 in chips right before we hit the money (933 players and it paid 90 players), but I donk off chips, and then end up all-in with KT suited when someone behind me yet to act had AK. Game over - out in 53rd. I know now that if I had been more patient I could have moved much further up the money ladder, and that my aggressiveness was poorly timed and gave me no real chance to steal/win chips, but every chance to piss them away. So I kind of made some progress, but not nearly what I should have made.

So then I decided to play the Razz tourney tonight, paying full price. I was making great reads - but you know what happens when you have a great draw and know your opponent has a weak hand? You still need a hit a hand to win, because by the time you reach 7th there is so much money in the pot that the player is going nowhere. It was a just gnarly tourney.

Then I played in a $11 Knockout 90-person SNG. What can I say? I have been absolutely destroyed before in tournaments, but I have never felt more deflated after a tournament than I did after this tournament.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1836265

Six hands later:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1836272

Very next hand:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?1836278

End of tourney. I had doubled up early on in the tourney when one player donk went all in with Top Pair on the turn when I turned a flush. But he had 100 more chips than me, so someone else ended up with that bounty. AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I end the night by losing a $26 buy-in $75 token tourney, and then winning a $26 token.

So I am so screwed on my goals right now. Just like Shaun mentions in his blog, I am thinking I need to take a break. At least online. Play some live games over the next couple of weeks, and get my mind straight before I head to Tunica the second week of January. When I get back, then I will start thinking about June and the WSOP. But I can tell you, unless I get myself straight, and do so soon, I have no business being out in Vegas for anything at all. Period. Anyway - my Road to Event 26 is taking a detour after this disastrous past couple of days, and we shall see if I hop back on that road soon or not. I am on vacation for work the next week and a half, so I am sure that I will probably end up playing some online simply because I will not be able to control myself not to. But I need to reflect on my game a little bit and see where it takes me. Maybe the best thing to do is just stop playing completely and focus on other things in my life. I just don't know. What I do know is that I need to win my Fantasy Football league bad now. Go Brady!!! Go Pats Defense. Shut those Dolphins out!!!!!!!!!!!

Steak